Falltastic

My favorite season of the year - Fall. Or Autumn to my British educated friends. The weather finally cooled off a bit, no pretty colors of the changing leaves but I will settle for not sweating in unbearable humidity. Wish I were sitting in the warm sun in my backyard but I don't have any yard furniture. I'm only 8 hours behind me planned schedule but the hectic schedule of the last few weeks drained whatsoever energy I had left in me. I think Christopher Columbus would have made a fine young Lieutenant in the Army as he got last navigating and found himself in a new place. Silly jokes aside that upset a whole new bunch of people who cry and do nothing about life, I'm going to ATTEMPT to focus for the next couple of hours before I go to work on my day off. Yay !!!

The last month has been pretty good, finally got my motorcycle with some other stuff from Savannah. Have been out riding and I realize that I will have to crossover into Texas for me to see or do anything fun around here. I'm just on the border so once I figure out some spare time, I will just do that. Work has been extremely busy, emotionally draining yet satisfying. Learnt one of the important lessons - take care of yourself if you want to take care of others' business. I've never been in a Principal's Office before but one of my bosses just made me feel like I was just nobody. But last week he was one of the leaders that said I was doing a dang good job picking up the slack in absence of some senior guys and also showing initiative. So it evened out. This weekend has been quiet but before I go back to craziness tomorrow, I just want to go and catch up with a bunch of stuff.

So much to talk about yet I can't. Let me pick at the "emotionally draining" part. I think it's because I can be perceptive. Just watching people, reading into their thoughts which affect choices affecting them and others is an interesting subject. How one small decision affects themselves and others makes me question everything. Makes me want to question my beliefs, choices, actions and identity. It tremendously makes me want to reconsider who I want to open up to, welcome into my life and let it affect me. So far I've been taking mental notes, regret my past choices and hopefully never ever repeat them.

So far work has been an black hole. Once I'm off duty, I try to get away from it as humanly as possible. Being single definitely has it's perks when you're in this field. And I can only hope I will find someone who's understanding of it for the few years that I'm obligated to fulfill my duties. Now that we're entering a touchy topic, I should probably apologize for my tone in my previous post about my "problems with church women". Not that I've said anything wrong, just that I could have used a milder tone. Anyway, to save time, I kinda like what I read almost 6 years ago. I don't know who the author is but they absolutely make so much sense if one's desiring a Christian dating leading to an everlasting marriage perspective. It deserves it's own blog space but here's how it goes. 

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone.

To have a deep soul relationship with another,

To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But God says to a Christian,

No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,

Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found-will you be capable of

The perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be perfectly united with another until you are united with Me-

Exclusive of anyone else,

Exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning.

Stop wishing.

And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,

One that you cannot even imagine.

I want you to have the best.

Please allow me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.

Keep listening and hearing the things I tell you.

You just wait

That's all.

Don't be anxious,

Don't worry.

Don't look around at the things you think you want.

Just keep looking off and away up at me,

Or you will miss what I have to show you.

And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than

any you would have ever dreamed of.

You just wait, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready.

I'm working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time.

Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me, and the life I prepared for you,

You won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with

me.......The Perfect Love.

That makes so much sense because my vertical relation with God was never right when my horizontal relationships with people weren't right. And the inverse of that is even more true. But aspiring and hoping for something like that is definitely a team effort involving both parties. I was talking to someone yesterday and mentioning how "Understanding" is one of my love languages. Every time I've been hurt, it was because I felt I wasn't being understood or was unable to connect due lack of understanding. Perhaps that explains why I was ranting last time about finding relationships in church. And also why I don't respond to women who just like attention because some don't care who's giving it. I get my share of attention but I don't let it go to my head as half the time from women who are either in relationships, married or just plain crazy. (Plain crazy is another topic for discussion.).

Any way, I have to wrap this up as I have places to go and things to do to get ready for the upcoming work week. Apart from cooking and cleaning a big house that's been completely neglected, I hope I find some quiet time again towards the end of the week. My thoughts are with all my friends spread in the South East region of the States that are affected by the hurricane. The pictures and the stories they tell is pretty sad. I'm sorry I can't be there to help all the great people that I've come to love and call them my friends. And to the ones that are actively giving their time and energy, stay strong.