I'm only 30-ish days behind. And that doesn't include the past ten I hours that I've "wasted". On my day off but being on a standby in case I get called in, hitting snooze on the alarm clock starting at 4.30 a.m., finishing 4 cups of coffee, breakfast for lunch, Darius Rucker playing in the background and walking for less than a couple of hundred feet to the mailbox for exercise, I think I'm finally ready to start this year. January is almost out but I haven't officially started checking things off of my list for the year.
Back as a 16 year old, I started a crazy tradition for my birthday. If I could, I would get away for a bit to think of my previous year and plan out the next. I don't believe in New Year resolutions as I don't need January 1 to wait to get rid of my shortcomings. My birthday celebration has served me well over the years but unlike the previous years, I'm still thinking about the past and though it's been over a month, I'm overwhelmed about all the things I want to do for this year. The good thing about being born so close to Christmas is that I love how the celebration extends into the New Year. Coming back to the States and living in the South, it was nice riding weather on my bicycle and motorcycle. And if my 8 year old iPod wasn't broken, I'd still be playing Christmas music. You can judge me...like I care.
Before I get squirreled (distracted), let me share how last year was immensely amazing. The spurt of grey in my hair is a lasting effect of the stress of moving across continents, changes in career, starting all over again. But, I'm glad for it all and have zero complaints as people say I still look younger than my age. My house was (finally) starting to look like a home (it could use a feminine touch), experimenting more in the kitchen, and finally putting on some weight because working out is now a thing of the past. Just kidding about getting fat, saw a doctor recently and learned that I've had a torn joint in the shoulder for a while that needs to be fixed. So instead of gritting through pain, I'm learning to not make it worse. And that reminds me, the marathon that I signed up for 5 months ago is next week. I plan on finishing it under 4 hours. But it's not going to happen (this year) because I overstretched my ankle and it needs some fixing too. Remind me again to listen to my body and not be a knucklehead.
Speaking of listening (hehe), I think I'm getting better since the last time I wrote. Though the introvert in me doesn't verbalize often, I'm learning that it's okay to ask (for anything) once in a while. Most importantly, I'm learning that it's okay to be a bit vulnerable too. As soon as I typed it, I froze but I think I will eventually get comfortable with it. It's easy to relive the not so pleasant experiences in the past but if I don't repeat my mistakes, I have nothing to fear.
Ever feel a lot and nothing happen at the same time? Wrapping up last year and starting off this New Year has been exciting. Seems like there's so much excitement to look for this year. One of the main goals for this birthday has been about what I wanted to fill my personal and professional life with for the next 5 years. I've always shied away from relationships when I felt I was not content professionally. It might not make sense to some but a man derives self-worth based off of what he does. Now that I've set things in motion professionally, I've been taking some time to think about what kind of woman I want to build my life with. Though she isn't here (yet) to give her input, I definitely think she's worth the wait. The other day I was reading an interesting article and one of the lines that had cracking me up was "Don't be a nickel looking for a dime.". There's so much wisdom in that idiom and I wish single folk would introspect before wanting a relationship. Since I've been doing just that over the last couple of months, I will share a few things that about what I do look for at least in the initial stages of getting to know someone. Kindness is a two-way street. I hear a lot of women wanting a kind man without showing an ounce of it themselves. Kind people speak the truth out of love, aren't afraid let their feelings show (don't play games), don't expect someone to be sacrificial without doing the same. Kind people live by the command "Do unto others..." and know the importance of being humble. Lately, my colleagues have been teasing me about what "my type" is as I've been turning down their efforts to set me up. They mean well but I'm not interested in a woman who *only* is easy on the eyes. It's all that some women has going for them and they kinda get offended when I point it out. That's another story for another day. Since Valentine's Day is round the corner, I think I should save it for then...haha.
Anyway, I'm content knowing who and where I'm at this point of time in life. So much to work on and towards to get this amazing year to get started. Now that I'm warmed up, it's time to start writing in my secret diary about all the things I want for Christmas this year.
