Time is wasted on the youth.

I’m a little mad today. At myself. Not because I got called out by our Command Sergeant Major of our Company in front of over 200 soldiers for not knowing the “Warrior March” song. Not because I had 3 hours to learn and sing it in front of all of them. Not because I had to do push-ups along with them because we all sang it off-key. It was my fault for not having learned about Second Infantry Division’s glorious past. Been here almost a quarter of my tour, I’m supposed to know it by now.  But it made my day and laugh at myself a bit.  In the Army, one (usually) sings first thing in the morning, while running “they” call it motivation, I call it making “life choices” – breathing is more important than making noise. I never imagined that I would be a choir boy until I joined the Army. I don’t usually sing, not that I don’t want to. My siblings are so good at it that they sing in front of large crowds. I don’t sing because I don’t like memorizing lines and I don't like being in front of the crowds. I’m mad at myself because I made some stupid decisions. Didn't manage my time and follow through with my plans. Most importantly, I failed to prioritize. That’s a big no-no in my book. And it seems like I’m not learning from my mistakes.

I've been reflecting a bit after my previous post. What am I trying to achieve by over-sharing. Shoot the breeze, no worries! Letting you all into my life and let you “figure me out”…now what was I thinking? And most of all, am I turning into one of those people who are so full of themselves that they have to show off their pseudo-intellect? If you ever for once think that I’m heading that way, I give you my permission to punch me in the throat. Twice. Perhaps that will circulate the blood back into my brain and I will start thinking clearly again.

I’m mad because I haven’t been taking care of myself lately. Remember my four goals over 5 years ago to grow in physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual departments? Yep, failing in all the subjects. After not having attended the chapel on-base for the last couple of weeks, I finally had to force myself to go yesterday. I hate doing things just to check off the boxes, especially when it comes to things concerning spirituality, but I had to do it anyway. Church attendance and why it’s important to (and for) me is a vast topic and will be sharing another day. It was good thing that I did go, I had signed up to help out in the nursery a few weeks ago but haven’t officially started. Checked-in on my “boss” there and held a baby for a couple of minutes and said something to the effect of “I’ll see you when I see you.”. Such a shame…I know. I’m mad because I didn't finish my planned reading materials. Bought 2 very interesting books - they’re gathering viruses (not cobwebs as they’re e-books silly) while there’s a thick coat of stupid forming in my brain. Didn't practice any Hangul on unsuspecting Koreans either. I’m mad because I didn't take care of my back ever since I got here. Sometimes it takes forever to be seen by an Army doc and since they don’t have a Chiropractor on-base, I've been paying quite a chunk to get help an hour away off-post. Acupuncture and dry-needling have helped a bit but not to my desired timelines or level of healing. Army-way of treatment is to pop some anti-inflammatory pills, stretching and drinking water. Can’t blame the system when too many idiots use excuses and the system to get out of PT (or the Army) and the genuine cases get painted by a broad brush. I’m not even going to talk about the emotional side. Am sticking to the true and tired method of ignoring it till it passes. I know I can work myself up in a frenzy but I've learned to recognize the symptoms and calm myself down. I’m calm. For now.

Well, I didn't do the DMZ tour as I intended to. Things happen and plans change at the last moment. It’s one of those things. I don’t think I can sight-see for the next couple of weeks. Perhaps the weekend of St. Patrick’s day. I should use the next 14 days to remedy all things that didn't go as planned. If I stop being dumb and see through my plans and goals, I can think of rewarding myself.

I rucked 45 pounds just 4 miles under an hour last week. I need to do at least 6 miles tomorrow and add a mile every other day. It’s still way too cold for me to ride my bicycle here. Running 6.30 mile pace gives me a brain-freeze, don’t think my body will appreciate averaging 18 miles on the bike under 32F weather. I miss running the Talmadge Bridge with friends in Savannah. I can’t believe I said that. I love my friends and I hate running. I have to go now and cook Spaghetti or eat junk food for the next 2 days. The Korean fruit and snack I bought yesterday are almost all gone. And I’m trying not to drink more than 3 cups of coffee a day…blasphemy, I know.

Will think of nicer thoughts to write and not be such a Sally (or a Bha-bo “stupid” in Korean) next time.

Katchi Kapshida (We go together)

Annyeong Hashimnikka? That's a very formal and polite greeting in Hangul asking you (literally) "are in peace/how are you?". Had to travel all the way to the Republic of South Korea to learn it. Thank you, Uncle Sam! Why come up for air now? Well, the writing "strategy" worked 4 years ago and now it's time to test if it's going to bear fruit again. So much has happened over these 4 years that I will have to take time to actually think and remember and one single update is not going to do it. Also, I'm in no mood to write, am forcing my own will to do this. I stopped writing the last time because it was emotionally draining. It's not what I don't share that makes me feel like I'm hiding something. Some of you introverts who happen to be private as well can relate.  I post tons of goofy and crappy stuff about myself on FB...just can't seem to do it in a sensible environment that actually makes me think when I start rationalizing everything.

I have a lot of things that I need to sieve through the vast empty space in between my ears. Instead of sifting it all at once, I will look back at the most part and reflect as to where I am and if I've come anywhere close to where I wanted to be. Like someone said, "Hindsight is 20/20, future - not so clear.". There's a reason I HAVE to write. No, it's not an option. For once, at least it's not the voices in my head making me do it. A friend who happens to be a very good blogger shared the secret rule for writing and writing well. Keep it clear, concise, write everyday if it's just a few lines and proofread. Since I (usually) don't follow the rules, I will be breaking all of them.

For starters, it's been a good couple of (cold) months here in Korea. I was supposed to be coming here after Advanced Individual Training (AIT), instead went back to good ol' Sweet Georgia. Army decided to teach me one of it's important lessons (on the day I graduated AIT) about not trusting what's predicted to happen until it actually happens. But life always comes around. After having enjoyed Afghanistan (all deployment experiences vary, it deserves a trip down the memory lane and a post of it's own), this has been one of the best "free" things the Army has bestowed on me to satisfy my wanderlust.

So in the last 5 “Army years”, I haven’t got any tattoos, don’t smoke, chew tobacco, teetotaler, single (never married - I know!), don’t have any kids running around. So either I’m doing something right or doing it completely wrong. I was supposed to not have been on this trip at all. It was my idea a few years ago, but I was planning on changing my career path in the military by switching from Aviation to something more challenging. So instead of going to North Carolina, I came to Korea in December. Haven't seen as much as I thought I would because it takes a good amount of time to get to your duty station once you get in the country. And once you get there, life happens. It's my first Permanent Change of Station (PCS) move and boy is it stressful! First, for a single dude (yep...we'll get to that in a little bit), I happen to have a lot of junk that I can't seem to get rid of. In spite of giving away quite a decent amount of clothes, shoes and junk, I think I'm still hanging on to more than I need. Second, I hate packing. Third, I hate unpacking. Fourth, material possessions like truck, motorcycle (deserves another post), are necessities that one must learn to live without. Fifth, sharing breathing space (literally) is a pain for an introvert especially if you have an idiot for a roommate. I'm being unusually cruel about him, had to teach him that common courtesy and respect goes both ways. He's better now...I'm just using him as my personal (mental) punching bag. Though I wished I could have smothered him for the last 3 hours he was yapping to some chick on the phone. Sixth,...I think you get the gist. Moving and starting all over are both fun and a pain.

It's been only just a little over two months and I'm starting to forget already. For starters, the trip starting from Savannah was stressful. I had taken a week off before moving to sort, pack and take care of storage. But I had committed to some other things that week (being impulsive hurts) so I was packing my bags until 4 a.m. and left a good amount of trash for my buddy to clean up. Had to thank him somehow for letting me stay with him for free, right? Another friend, who was supposed to take my truck, drop me off at the airport and sell my truck for me misunderstood what I was requesting him to do and didn't answer my phone at 5 a.m.  So I barely made it to the airport with enough time to park at the curb, check-in, go back and park the truck and hide the keys so that it could be picked up. Had to find more ways to thank The Friend by making him clean my trash AND pick up my truck. It’s another good story as to how I met this awesome dude in Savannah. Anyways, the said flight got delayed, so laid over in Texas, stayed with a friend, and didn’t see any of the wide-open spaces of Texas (one of the places I always so wanted to see in the States). There’s always a next time. I hadn't slept in over 24 hours thinking sleeping through the flight was a better option but hadn't thought about weather and delays. One of my pet-peeves is public transportation and you have no idea how stressful it is for me to rub shoulders with strangers. But, it ended well with a free upgrade to business class. 

Once you land in the country, all soldiers stay in a particular area (I'm being vague on purpose) "in-processing" for a brief amount of time before heading to their destinations. In the couple of weeks we "in-process" we're taught a little about our mission in Korea, local sensitivities and cultural awareness. It doesn't come as a surprise that American soldiers (and other military branches) are either loved or "not loved as much" being here. Why? The South Koreans are grateful and they show it explicitly with their gratitude for all the things that USA has done for them in dealing with their bratty neighbor. The times we're "not loved as much" are when soldiers do stupid things here instead of acting like adults in a host nation. I haven't felt as embarrassed listening to what some stupid soldiers did to some of the locals here. I'm not making it up. One of the things I remember from the said classes was "You'll find what you're looking for in Korea.". Unfortunately, a lot of people end up choosing "trouble". The last day of the classes ends with a tour of outside of the Camp. After the bus dropped us off outside of a mall, a few of us friends (one from Basic training - it's a small world and another from my previous duty station) decided to walk around. A lot of Koreans (esp. the young ones) can understand English but not speak it. So when we asked the locals for directions, some wanted to help but couldn't. It's all good though. It's more fun pointing at street food, eating it and finding it extremely yummy in the tummy. As of today, I still don't know what I ate. After snacking, we ended walking into a restaurant that lets you barbecue your own meat. A lot of those places are now my favorites to go to. Other than a common kitchen for our entire barracks floor which I just started using to cook some spaghetti (feeds me for 2 days), this gives me a chance to experience the "joys of cooking" and feel "normal". I don't eat in the military dining facility. Yes, they take my money and not feed me enough. Plus, walking the distance in the cold is not worth the effort. I'm still lazy. Army hasn't broken me down yet!  

I think I’m getting to settle down a little bit in the last two weeks. Went sight-seeing at a World Heritage last weekend and was completely in love with the architecture and scenic beauty of the Hwaseong Fortress and Palace. I can’t wait to go back check the trails once it warms up a little bit. Planning to go see the DMZ this weekend but like all “smart” things in the Army, have to get a pass approved to be able to go outside my authorized travel “zone”. I think it will be a great opportunity to learn the craziness of that region especially of our bratty neighbor who’s going to create so much drama next month during the annual war-games training exercises.

All of a sudden, I feel the urge to get to bed and it’s only 2230. Don’t have PT in the a.m. (score well on your PT and you can sleep in!). As much as I want to be lazy, I have to go workout in the a.m. Plus, I need to get into the habit of waking up by 0430 and reading (hopefully write as well). Let’s see if I can shift gears and change a few things in the next 21 days…there’s always a reason behind everything.