Leaping forward.

Why? I don’t know. I kinda do but don’t want to do it wholeheartedly which is unlike my “all or nothing”. But I have to. Just so that I can sort some things out and have something to as there’s so much clutter in my head right now. You bet that I won’t be proofreading, trying to see how much I can type in an hour. Going back to the question “Why?”, staying true to myself, I did what I normally do when things don’t work out or when I start to get angry/dejected/upset…go hide under the rock. That’s what exactly what was going exactly a year ago. I thought I was going to back in the States by late Spring and it didn’t seem like it was never going to happen. I was so tired of the “Regular Army BS” that I either I was going to go Special Operations or call it a day after six years of some good and bad times in Aviation. I love what the Killer Bird does in protecting the ones who are on our side but the same stuff month in and out started getting a bit too boring. So I wanted to go where all the weird people with crazy ideas go to play…Psychological Operations. I know you’re thinking about the movie about staring at my Sun Sign (I’m a Capricorn) but there’s so much more to it than what Hollywood wants you to believe. Why a “Brainy” field? Because I wanted to use that as a stepping stone to work for some of the Alphabet Agencies after getting some experience. Anyway, like always, I thought I knew what was better but The Man Above always comes teaching me oh so gently that He has something much better for me. So what I wanted do 5 years down the line, I get to do it in the next 5 months. By the way, today was the last day of my High Life of Aviation. Will I miss it? Probably never but I’m so glad for all the thing it has taught me - both good and bad.

Yeah, being a man who defines himself by what he does and an eldest son with responsibilities puts a good amount of pressure to make the right choices. I’ve failed at times but not so bad that I haven’t recovered. It’s only dumb if you repeat the same mistake twice. Or you could be smart and not walk into the fire knowing you’ll burn. As they say, different strokes for different folks. Though I’m starting to accept that a lot of things worthwhile in my life have come in after a good amount of pain and learning to be patient, I still struggle with being caught in the moment and mental tunnel vision. In some ways I have learned to relax and experience life and am truly glad that I’ve stayed in Korea a bit longer.

Writing about Korea will need a different post all by itself. But let me see if I skim the surface. I’ve learned that I’m a Korean at heart. The biggest compliment that I enjoy is when elder Korean people say that my mannerisms are that of one of their own. I’ve noticed that now I bow a lot and I’m sure it will be a while before I get rid of it. Took a couple of Hangul at college level and did pretty decent. I say decent because though I was the teacher’s pet, I just did the bare minimum to pass. In all seriousness, I was trying to learn just enough to please my Korean in-laws. I think they’ll be pleased when hopefully I will find a Korean bride. Anyway, I made some really great friends who opened their hearts and homes to me and showed me how to be a local. I find it easy to be one with them as I’m very formal and polite but know how to have a good time as well. I’ve become quite adventurous when it comes to trying new cuisine. I don’t mind eating seafood anymore (I never thought I would ever say that) and I attribute that to the yumminess of the food here. My chopstick game is still questionable some days but I think I will survive now. I absolutely love the hiking trails and went so far as to hike the Hallasan in Jeju Island. Since I didn’t know how to swim for more than a few feet (lack of body fat but having excess dozes of laziness), I got into SCUBA diving and had the time of my life diving in the Philippines. The biggest regret is not having finished the Seoul to Busan bicycle trip late last year. Two days of freezing rain and the lack of body fat makes one question one life choices when you don’t have feeling in your palms and feet anymore. Someday, I will check riding Korea cross country off of my bucket list. But, as a consolation, I did go to the DMZ a few days ago. So much fun and so worth it to learn the history as to why we’re stationed here.  

I had to catch myself there a minute before I got all sentimental. As usual, I compartmentalize everything in my head. All the fun things described above were enjoyed in the pleasurable company who were passionate about it. The sad thing now is that all of those friends are in different parts of the world. Like the song “All by myself”. Tsk…tsk. Though I’m good at entertaining myself, it’s a good thing to share your life. I miss goofing off with friends I made at work, especially when the op-tempo got crazy with our stupid neighbor up north. I miss my Korean friends that cooked me yummy Korean food and drive me around town. I will soon be missing one of my Korean friends who always tries to set me up with her girlfriends. I will miss my hot 80 plus year old girlfriend (Shut up, it’s not what you think.) Grandma is so adorable, always smiles and holds my hand whenever I see her and unless translated, doesn’t understand a single thing I say to her. I will miss holding babies in on-base chapel here. I will miss going to the Korean church off-base and not only sing off-key but read lyrics incorrectly in Hangul. I’m going to miss strangers’ generosity and going out of their way to help me.

Anyway, it’s time to change tracks. Been tired, a bit cranky and stressed now that my fun time is over and I have to come back to the States. To celebrate this joyous day and also to celebrate new beginnings, bought a crossover. My headache of a beater truck needs retiring and I can only do so much with Knucklehead (my death machine/HD Sportster/childhood dream). I hate making payments but the interest I owe is very less so I will compromise on that. Now that I have a career field that I want, the biggest challenge next is to find a Wife for Life. My friends sometimes say that I’m way too darn picky and that I don’t take advantage of my gift of “pulling chicks”. Well, my dear friends, let me quickly see if I am what you accuse me of.

I seem to get a lot of attention without even getting a word out. Guess some of it has to do with my demeanor, partly due to (almost) every woman in the world lusting after some natural curled long eye lashes, the way I dress at times (I’m very comfortable when I dress formal and for business), my ability to rock a crying babies and calm them down in not time, laugh at everything and everyone including myself and also not worrying about what people think. It’s true that I get my share of attention but I don’t let it go to my head as the kind of women that I crush on is a topic in itself. Remember the chick I was crying about a few years ago? Well, she had a Ph.D (while in mid 20s) in biology, came from a lot of money, wasn’t honest enough to tell me that I wasn’t good enough for her. I don’t mind that as everyone’s idea about what success is all about is completely different. So I made it a priority to talk to someone who was honest. So 3 or 4 years later of not talking to anyone, I was introduced to a chick who was apparently into Indian culture and was marriage material. Though I was going overseas soon after, started talking to her for almost a month on the phone while I was in an Army leadership school, learned that though we had very similar upbringing, she was very different from me. I assumed a lot of stuff by not asking the right question (I’m polite…duh!), thought someone with similar backgrounds (growing up overseas, traditional parents, multi-cultural and multilingual) will help deal with life and since I’m all about taking risks, I got in an on/off long distance thing for perhaps 6-8 months. Since how both of us perceived and understood Forgiveness and Grace, I didn’t have a lot of peace as the things that we valued and hurt us were completely different. (Next time, I will not only value sharing joy and fun, I will see if the Woman will also hurt about the same things as I do). Anyways, I did my gentlemanly duty of showing interest and telling them that I loved them, I fulfilled my gift of having them get married to other dudes. So if any of you single ladies having issues getting hitched should holla. I won’t promise the quality of your married life but I for sure can get you to walk the aisle in no time. Just remember to break my heart as you do so ;) Anywho, I was crushing on this sweet, crazy artistic, wise, Jesus loving until same time last year. She said something in the first 20 minutes I met her and by the time I picked up my jaw from the floor and the gears in my head start spinning, I was telling myself, “Whoa, God! What are you trying to show me?”. So as any S.L.O.W man like I would, I told her I was interested in knowing more about her after 3-4 lunches. But, as any classy lady would, she said she wasn’t interested in me as I was in her. Now that’s the kind of chick that makes it worth pursuing for months and still be nice to even after being rejected. And trust me, you don’t get these kind a whole lot nowadays. But, a boy can dream right?

So yea, I give it to you my friends, I am picky. But it is a good thing. I don’t see myself marrying more than once, I don’t believe I have to “date” tons of women to know what I like or don’t, I don’t even see myself asking for numbers of anyone that I think looks interesting. All my life I have seen that I’ve always gotten the best that have far exceeded my expectations. And I apply the same philosophy when it comes to marriage. I know there’s one crazy woman out there for me. So till the God above decides to make our paths cross, I will work on being a better man.

P.S: I may or may not write about my Indian arranged marriage story next time.